Forgiveness Unlimited Part Two - Forgiving Others

Forgiveness Unlimited Part Two

Forgiving Others

Let’s turn back to Matt. 18. Last week we looked at part one of forgiveness unlimited – forgiven by God. This morning we look at the second part of Jesus’ parable and the lesson that we are forgive others.

²³ “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. ²⁴ When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. ²⁵ And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. ²⁶ So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ ²⁷ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. Matt. 18:23-27

Let’s pray.

When I was a kid I had these action figures I’d play with – GI Joe and Captain America kind of heroes – and they’d often be fighting a villain on the edge of a cliff. And to make clear the level of danger they were in, I’d always say the cliff was a million miles high. I didn’t realize that’s about four times higher than the moon. A million mile high cliff doesn’t make sense, it’s crazy high. That’s what Jesus does in this parable.

A king decides to settle accounts and a servant comes before him who owes him ten thousand talents. One talent was about twenty year’s wages for the average worker. To put it in today’s figures, if an average worker today makes about 50K yr, then one talent would be worth about one million dollars. Ten thousand talents then would be equivalent to ten billion dollars and would take a worker earning 50K a year 200,000 years to pay back that loan IF they put everything they make towards repayment. It’s crazy high, it doesn’t make sense. But Jesus is making a spiritual point: we have run up a crazy high debt with God because of sin. On Judgment Day we will have to give account for every sin – Jesus says we’ll give account for every idle word. Idle words isn’t referring to life-changing, history changing speeches. Every idle word means the throw-away words, the words we say when we aren’t even thinking. If we have to give account for every idle word, how much more the words that do mean something, that do impact lives, that do either lead someone towards Christ or away from Christ, towards obedience to God or away from obedience to God. And then there is every thought, every action, every omission and commission of sin. We can’t pay it back is the point.

But the king forgives the debt entirely and sets this servant free. Happy ending, right? Not so much. Let’s keep reading…

²⁸ But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ ²⁹ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ ³⁰ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. ³¹ When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. ³² Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. ³³ And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ ³⁴ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. ³⁵ So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”Matt. 18:28-35

A hundred denarii was worth about three months pay back then. It would be like someone owing about $12,500 to the person who makes 50k yr. That is not insignificant. Sometimes people are going to sin against us in ways that really, really hurt. People will wrong us. Offend us. Friends may betray us and that is incredibly painful. It strikes me how many times the Bible links Judas’ betrayal of Jesus to the communion event. Betrayal was a big part of Jesus’ sufferings.

The Bible doesn’t diminish the pain and damage that someone’s sin inflicts on us. Or the pain and damage we sometimes inflict on others. If you’ve been hurt by someone, if someone has wronged you, or offended you, or used you, or has been unkind or betrayed you, you know how deep the wounds can go.

I think I’m a pretty forgiving guy but for some reason this past week I found myself struggling with unforgiveness towards some people in the past who I feel wronged by. Maybe they don’t owe me a hundred denarii, it might only be ten denarii but I was having a tough time letting go of the desire to see payback. Vindication. You’d think as I am working on a message of forgiveness that I’d be primed to forgive but it’s like it had the opposite effect. I’m not sure why these struggles came up this week except maybe to remind me that the struggle to forgive is real. The hurt people feel is real. The desire to see wrongs made right is real – and that desire is not all bad, but if it turns into bitterness and unforgiveness than it is bad. Unforgiveness is not an option for the believer. It’s just not. In this parable Jesus links our being forgiven to our bestowing forgiveness. Jesus made the same link when he taught us to pray in the Lord’s Prayer forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

We don’t earn God’s forgiveness by forgiving others but we show that we understand how much God has forgiven us when we pass that forgiveness on to those who owe us.

The parable surprises us with a servant who is forgiven SO much but has no forgiveness for a fellow servant who owes him a tiny fraction of what he has been forgiven. The king had forgiveness in his heart which this servant was happy to receive but the servant had no forgiveness in his heart to give to another. He had no compassion to give to a man who was begging for mercy just as he had done just a short time earlier. When the king hears of this he retracts his offer of forgiveness and throws the unforgiving servant in prison until he pays back all he owes.

The king threw the unforgiving servant in a prison until he paid back every part of his debt. Unforgiveness puts us in a prison. It torments our souls and messes with our heads as we focus on how we’ve been wronged. We want vengeance, we want payback. We play and replay how that person wronged us over and over in our head. Unforgiveness can’t be contained to one little part of our life – it will spill over into other parts of our lives - our attitudes, our thoughts, our ability to trust other people. We’ll get angry faster. We become easily offended.

I remember a teacher in Bible school who was teaching on forgiveness and he said unforgiveness is like getting a barb stuck in your arm. The barb is the original wound, the hurt someone committed against you when they sinned the sin against you. But if you leave that barb in your arm, it will get infected and incredibly painful. If someone even just brushes against your arm, what they did is small but it will feel incredibly painful to you like they just hit you with a sledgehammer. That’s what happens if we let the barb of unforgiveness remain in us – we become easily hurt and easily offended. We need to take the barb out and cleanse the wound. That’s what forgiveness does.

He had another illustration – he was good at illustrations that stuck with you! One day you’re walking on the beach and a seagull flies overhead and poops on your head. And as the bird flies off you raise your fist and say “you dirty bird, you come back here and wipe this poop off my head! I’m not cleaning up your mess – you did it, you need to clean it!” Of course the bird doesn’t come back – he flies merrily on his way. But you’ve resolved to not clean up that bird’s mess so you leave it on your head. And over time that bird poop on your head really starts to stink. You may stop noticing it but everyone around you sees it and smells it and it’s not pretty! That’s what unforgiveness and bitterness does to us over time – our attitudes start to stink. We become cynical, suspicious, angry. We think we have a right to be all those things because someone hurt us – meanwhile they’ve probably moved on and don’t care or maybe don’t even know about the mess they made in our lives. Unforgiveness doesn’t hurt the person we choose not to forgive as much as it hurts our own soul.

God wants to set us free from that prison of torment. He wants us to live in the freedom of forgiveness and peace.

1. Reflect on how much God has forgiven you in Christ

Eph. 4:32 exhorts us: Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

The servant was wicked because after being forgiven so much he had no forgiveness in his heart. On Judgment Day I don’t want justice, I need mercy. I need forgiveness. We as believers live by forgiveness and in Christ we have received forgiveness. If we truly know and believe that God has forgiven us all our sins, we will find we can’t then demand that those who hurt us pay every last penny back. Reflect – deeply reflect – on how much God has forgiven you in Christ.

2. Forgiveness doesn’t diminish the sin committed against you; forgiveness absorbs the sin

Shortly after Charlie Kirk was assassinated, his widow Erika Kirk stunned the world when she said she forgives the young man who killed her husband. It’s impossible for us to calculate the depth of her loss in losing her husband and their children losing their father. She will never know the joy of growing old with him. Her children will never know their father or experience him being there in the most important moments of their lives. Nothing can ever give back what she has lost. Forgiveness doesn’t replace the loss, it absorbs the loss.

God didn’t diminish our sin in order to forgive it, He gave His beloved Son to die in our place, absorbing our sin as if it was his own. Forgiveness doesn’t say, “it’s not a big deal, just get over it.” Forgiveness says “you have wronged me deeply but I will absorb that wrong and loss and not hold it against you. I forgive you.” Forgiveness sets us free, not by removing the pain, but by removing the poison.

The only way we can do that is by being aware daily of how much God has forgiven us. No loss in this brief life can compare to the magnificent hope of eternal life in the presence of God and of Jesus. Nothing anyone can do in this life can destroy that hope or ruin my life because my life is hidden with Christ.

3. Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily remove the consequences of their sin

Erika Kirk wasn’t calling for this young man to be released from prison or the consequences of what he did. He will still have a trial and if found guilty will pay the civil penalty for what he did. But if at some point he turns his life over to Jesus, while he’ll still pay the temporal penalty, his soul will be forgiven by God and he will spend eternity with Jesus…and no one will cheer that more than Charlie Kirk!

If someone continually breaks your trust, the consequence is you will no longer trust them until and unless they are able over time to earn back your trust. If someone abuses you or someone you know, the consequences may be a broken relationship, be it a marriage or with a parent or in a friendship. God calls us to forgive the abuser. He doesn’t call us to stay in the abusive relationship.

If a pastor abuses his position either through sexual immorality or abusive leadership or deceitful practices or stealing funds, the leaders and the congregation of that church should seek to love and forgive that pastor and do all they can to help restore that pastor to a right relationship with God and the congregation. But forgiveness doesn’t mean that pastor is immediately – or maybe even ever – restored to a leadership position in the church.

Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily remove the consequences of the sin.

Conclusion:

Forgiving those who sin against us is more for our sake than for theirs. We can’t control what others do, but we can control what we do and who we become. God doesn’t want us to be defined by what people did to us, He wants our lives to be defined by who He made us and what He has done for us!

Forgiven people forgive people. Let’s pray!