Being My Husbands Helper - Marriage by Design Women's Session

May 19, 2012 Speaker: Kim Boettcher Series: Marriage by Design

Topic: Marriage Passage: Genesis 2:18–2:23

I. Introduction

Then the Lord said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him”

And the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man, and the man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Genesis 2: 18, 22,23

II. Helper

A. What do you think of when you hear “helper”?

B. Hebrew for “helper” is ‘Ezer (from Betsey Riccuci)

1. Implies someone who assists and encourages

2. Provides support for what is lacking in the one who needs the help

3. Used 16 out of 19 times in the Old Testament in reference to God.

4. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth… John 14:16,17a

5. …I will never leave you nor forsake you, so that we confidently say, ‘the Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid. What shall man do to me?’ Heb. 13:5b, 6

6. “Helper suitable” is a robust word!

III. Her husband

A. God made you for him

The man needs the help; the woman needs to help. Marriage was created by God to provide companionship in the labor of dominion. The cultural mandate, the requirement to fill and subdue the earth, is still in force, and a husband cannot fulfill this portion of the task in isolation. He needs a companion suitable for him in the work to which God has called him. He is called to the work and must receive help from her. She is called to the work through ministering to him. He is oriented to the task and she is oriented to him.
Douglas Wilson

1. You were called to one specific man

2. Designed perfectly by God to help him

B. If this is true (God made me for him), I better study him

1. What motivates him?

2. What discourages him?

3. What encourages him?

4. How does he think best?

5. What refreshes him?

C. If this is true (God made me for him), I better understand his calling to:

1. Lead me (Do I make it easy? Am I a glad follower?)

2. Provide for the family (How can I pray for him? Learn about his co-workers, boss. What are his areas of weakness? Take an interest in his job)

3. Care for the family (Keep him aware of kids’ needs, help with calendar –dates and family time)

4. Serving in the church (Is it a position that requires you to release him or are you by his side?)

D. If this is true, (God made me for him) I better ask myself some hard questions:

1. Do I care for my home in a way that pleases my husband or just serves me?

2. Do I manage my time in a manner that assists my husband or serves my own agenda?

3. Does the way I serve others support my husband or promote me?

4. Do I ask for my husband’s input before committing myself to a plan?

5. Am I oriented to him and the work to which God has called him?

IV. “Being” What does “being her husband’s helper” look like?

A. His heart

1. Comfort

a. encourage through Scripture, point to God
b. point out past evidences of grace

2. Counsel

The guidance that she provides him comes mainly in two forms in helping him think clearly and in encouraging him to act confidently. What comes from this is a shared victory. If it proves a mistake, it is borne together. Either way, what is fostered is true unity of spirit, which is the heart of the matter, where the two become one. We have to work at it, but if we do, true unity is fostered and preserved in the complementary exchange of male leadership and female guidance.
John Ensor

3. Challenge

Wives are not only submissive wives. They are also loving sisters. There is a unique way for a submissive wife to be a caring sister toward her imperfect brother-husband. She will, from time to time, follow Galatians 6:1 in his case: ‘If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.’
John Piper

B. His home

1. Refuge

2. Release
a. My husband is called by God beyond my home
b. Called primarily to us, but not exclusively
c. Remember, we were created for HIM

“For man does not originate from the woman, but the woman from man; for indeed the man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.” I Cor. 11:8,9

d. By providing tranquility and order in the home, they can give attention elsewhere.
e. Not independent from him, but independent for him.

3. Romance
a. Only you can satisfy this area
b. Take initiative
c. Be creative
d. Respond enthusiastically

V. Conclusion

A. How do we do this? Through the gospel!

1. The gospel grants us forgiveness when we sin against each other.

2. The gospel gives us grace to change to serve one another.

B. Spurgeon quote:

If there is anything that is a miniature picture of heaven upon earth, it is a pair of Christians happily united, whose children grow up in the fear of the Lord, and render to them increased comfort and joy every day. Oh, how much we owe to the gospel for the happiness of our homes!